Lindsay Lohan is a great beauty with tremendous talent says her crazy lawyer

Publish date: 2024-05-18

I think we should give CB a round of applause for taking one for the Crack Team yesterday! She volunteered to watch Lindsay Lohan’s live court hearing and she updated yesterday’s Open Post with all of the info. Yay, CB! So, since CB’s update was so thorough, there’s only a little bit of post-cracktastrophe cleanup for me. But since we have lots of new photos, this should be worth your time.

First, let’s talk clothing. Bitch was braless – what did I tell you? She never wears a bra to court. She wore a sleeveless black dress by Chanel, sunglasses by Celine and the highlight of her court outfit was her $1295 Louboutin hooker heels. You know what? I’m tired of complaining about what is and is not appropriate for court. I know I’m old fashioned about it, but goodness sake, COVER UP and don’t wear hooker heels to court!!!

Next – CNN has an excellent recap of everything that went down in court and afterwards, including the statement Lindsay’s lawyer made to the press after the hearing. You can read the full summary here at CNN, and here are some highlights:

Lindsay Lohan’s new lawyer has a white rabbit’s foot hanging from the handle of his Louis Vuitton briefcase.

“That’s for good luck,” Mark Heller said. “Lindsay Lohan is a great beauty with tremendous talent and I believe that all she really needs in life is a little bit of luck.”

The actress faces a March 18 trial that includes charges of lying to a police officer about a car crash, reckless driving and violating her probation for a shoplifting conviction. Lohan did face a receptive judge at a pre-trial hearing Wednesday. Los Angeles County Superior Court Stephanie Sautner is the same one that found her guilty of stealing a necklace from a jewelry store and violating probation two years ago. She praised Lohan for completing the terms of her sentence a year ago when she lifted her supervised probation. Judge Sautner retires next month, so another judge — yet to be determined — will preside over her trial.

There are two prosecutors, including one from Santa Monica where the car crash happened last June and another from the Los Angeles city attorney’s office which is overseeing the shoplifting probation. While they’ve not taken a public position, several media reports — not confirmed by CNN — have said they want Lohan to spend at least six months in confinement.

Heller, who met with the prosecutors for the first time Wednesday, said they seemed to be “very much interested in serving justice.” What would justice be in this case?

“Justice always has to be tempered with mercy and jail is not always the answer,” Heller said. “When people find themselves coming before the court there’s usually a very serious underlying reason and cause.”

Lohan’s father has been urging Lohan to enter rehab voluntarily ahead of her trial, hoping that would satisfy the judge and prosecutors. Heller said it was premature for him to talk about a plea deal with the prosecutors since he just got the case file Wednesday. While her previous lawyer, Shawn Holley, entered a not guilty plea on Lohan’s behalf two weeks ago, Heller did not go as far as to suggest to reporters that she did not lie to police or violate her probation.

Lohan took the bold move of firing Holley, who steered Lohan through her many legal troubles over the past few years. She appeared reluctant, however, in court Wednesday when Judge Sautner asked her if she wanted to replace her. “Today, yes,” Lohan answered.

“This is not the most complex case we’ve ever seen,” Sautner said. But it could send Lohan to jail again. Sautner warned her a year ago that any violation of the law could mean she would have to serve 245 days in jail — the remainder of her suspended sentence from a shoplifting conviction.

While critics have panned Lohan’s recent dramatic appearances as an actress — her recent portrayal of Elizabeth Taylor is exhibit A — defendant Lohan has consistently delivered drama. She caught a late flight from New York Tuesday night to be in Los Angeles for court Wednesday morning despite sending a doctor’s note that said she was too sick to travel.

“Glad to see you’re feeling better,” Judge Sautner told Lohan. “Thank you,” Lohan replied.

Heller told the judge that her doctor diagnosed an upper respiratory condition. “In New York, it’s the flu,” he said.

“No, it isn’t,” said Sautner, who was an NYPD detective in a previous career. “The flu is the flu.”

Still, the judge overlooked the issue, even saying that Lohan does not have to attend future hearings or even the trial since it is misdemeanor case.

“She will rise to the occasion and I think she’ll be fine,” Heller told reporters.

[From CNN]

“Lindsay Lohan is a great beauty with tremendous talent and I believe that all she really needs in life is a little bit of luck…” Good God, is she paying him in beejs?

Also – Radar claims that Lindsay is so dead-broke that she’s been forced to *GASP* move in with Mother Crackhead! Radar’s source claims:

“Lindsay is being forced to live at home with Dina because she can’t afford any other options at the moment… Lindsay is flat-out broke and can’t even afford to rent a two-bedroom apartment in North Hollywood. There’s simply no way she would pass a credit check right now, and even if she could she wouldn’t be able to muster up a security deposit, let alone meet the rent every month. Lindsay’s been telling everyone that she moved to New York because she was sick of Los Angeles. But that’s just not true, she would love to move back west, but she can’t afford to! In the past, Lindsay has managed to rope in another person to co-sign on leases because her bad credit means she can’t get approved in her name alone. However, she couldn’t find anyone willing to do that now as she has burned so many of her friends and associates.”

“Dina seriously cramps Lindsay’s style because she always wants to go out partying with her,” the source says. “It’s embarrassing for Lindsay and she often dodges her mom’s calls when she’s out. Lindsay is constantly on the prowl these days to snag a new wealthy pal who has an apartment or vacation home she can move into…. rent free of course!”

[From Radar]

I’m sure she is looking for a “new wealthy pal” – the problem seems to be that she has a lot of wealthy pals who pay her for all kinds of things but they don’t want to “keep” her – like, as a “kept woman”. How much does that suck – that her wealthy johns don’t even want her as a consistent mistress?

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.

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